Bring it.

I don’t want to be part of the majority anymore. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I don’t want to be another invisible person trying to survive what life throws at me.

I want to DO something.

I want to BE someone.

I want to accomplish. Conquer. Laugh.

God, I don’t really know what you have planned for me, but I know it’s awesome. You ARE the best adventure writer after all. I am so stoked for everything you have planned for me, and I am so ready to embark on this magical journey. Bring it. Bring it all. Let’s do this.

Together.

Muddy Puddle Future...

When talking to an adult for the first time, there is something that will always come up during the conversation. Always. If it doesn't come up, then something is clearly wrong. What is it?
The question. THE question. The question that I never have a real answer too. The question I dread.

"What are you planning to do in your future?"

 As soon as these words slip through their mouth, I am once again groping through my mind for an answer. Because the truth? I have no idea.

I have no idea what I want to do! Missions trips? Work in hospital as a nurse? Explore crime scenes? Discover dinosaur bones? I don't know. I don't have concrete plans.

"Well you must have some idea."

No. I don't. And there is nothing bad about that. People now days seem to think that if you don't know exactly what you are doing in your future, you are just wasting time. After all, life is only so short right? You should have a clear picture of your life. You should get everything you want. Do whatever you want. Live it up.

I won't do that. I refuse. What I will do is follow God's plan for me.  I have no idea what the next step is, but I trust God to show me. My sister once said "God's the best adventure writer ever!" We had both been working on our novels, and both of us had writers block. We couldn't think of what's next. But see, God does know what's next. We might not, but he does. It's a mystery to us, but to him it is a perfect plan of serving Him and leading others to Him. It's exciting!

And so I have come to the conclusion that my future is a muddy puddle. Right now it's sitting there. I have a past and I sin...mud. You can't see through the muddy puddle to see what is in there, but you know it is there. And as God continues to renew me through Him the water will get clearer and clearer as time goes on...until I am crystal clear shining his glory. And so....let the adventure ahead begin!
 

Next stop: Ecuador!

Joy!

 This picture made me super happy! I just thought I'd share...

I just can't get over the cuteness!

A Christmas full of hugs!

 

The question “what do you want for Christmas?” has been asked many times. It has gone into my ears, settled in my brain, where I tossed it around feverishly and then finally spit out the words I always say.

Nothing.

This is usually met with a curious/frustrated glance and a march off to go question my family members.

I have never been good at coming up with something I want, and even if I had (due to some miraculous brain-workage) I would never say. I hate asking for things...I love giving gifts, I love it, but asking for something? Not so much.

But I have been thinking lately.

What do I want for Christmas? Really, what do I want? A book? A new camera? A movie? At first I will say “yes!” when you suggest these. I always loved touching the cover of a brand-new, unread book filled to the brim with adventure. But then I think about it.

All of that is just stuff. It doesn’t last. It has no real connection. It's just STUFF. It doesn’t accomplish anything truly worthwhile. I may have it, but how long until I get tired of reading that book? How long until my camera breaks or I want the newest model? How long until that movie is as old as one of those black and white silent films?

No. For Christmas I want memories. I want a hug. A laugh. I want a moment. A moment of joy, happiness...peace. I want an instant. Memories have meaning.

Everything has a time limit. Every item you touch. Every person you meet. Me.

Even you. Everything will end. This world, your pet dog, the tree growing outside that has been there for 200 years. Everything has an end.

Except for the God we serve.

Christmas is about celebrating his birth. It isn’t about finding that perfect deal for Christmas presents, or being disappointed when you don’t find that shiny bicycle under the tree. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus! The one who died for us. He died for OUR sins. He didn’t have to...but he did. It is amazing that we actually get the privilege to celebrate his birthday.

So just think about that before you ask for something for Christmas. Is it something that will actually hold meaning? Life is so short.

But meaning is priceless.

I will be perfectly happy with dozens and dozens of hugs.  :)

 

Rain is the sky crying...

Rain is the rawest, saddest, most emotional thing ever. It is beautiful, and yet tragic. As I listen to it drumming on the roof, sounding like thousands of angry fingertips thumping, I wonder what every raindrop feels. Happiness? Despair? It is comforting, but at the same time lonely. Rain is the sky crying. 

It’s funny how much you don’t realize until it rains. It brings so much to light. You don’t realize how much you miss someone. You don’t realize how much things hurt. You don’t realize that the things you think are so important aren’t important at all. Sometimes I can’t tell if it’s the rain or my heart pounding. I can’t tell if it is sadness, despair, or pure joy that the rain falls from. Maybe a mixture of all three.

These are just thoughts. Thoughts that I don’t care where they go. I am just going to send them off into the world...floating on the wind.

"Everyone says to learn to dance in the rain, but it's so much better if you wait until you can dance under a rainbow." - Flyaway

December!

As I wake to a cool, crisp morning, my heart yearns for an adventure. The sun is filtering through the clouds like rays in an ocean, and tiny snowflakes glitter to the surface like a handful of confetti set loose. The air is fresh. Clean. Pure. And the ground is covered in a frosty blanket that won’t melt until March.

It is December.

But what do I do? My day is completely empty. Nothing planned. Wrap Christmas presents? Wait for a friend to call me to hang out? Grab my camera and try to capture the magic hidden in corners? I have no idea.

I don’t even know what the point of this post is, other than to say it is OFFICIALLY December, and that I have no plans for the day. And for some reason, I don’t have an issue with that. It’s an empty day, a day to be free. Another day God has blessed me with, and I know it will be amazing! And so...without further ado....let the adventure begin! Hello December.

I'm NOT perfect.

I'm not perfect. I have my flaws. I've made mistakes in my life and I'm not proud of everything I've done. I try harder than most people think. I went from failing school and being an emotional wreck, to being caught up/getting A's/ and being able to manage my life on a day-to-day basis. I bust my butt daily to make sure that I'm doing the best I can. I may not be happy with everything in my life, but I sure as hell am proud of how far I've come and the person I've grown to be.

Open your eyes and reach for the clouds!

Open your eyes and reach for the clouds

         

           Inspiration comes in many forms. It is hidden in the cracks and crevices of this world, and it can appear in basically anything. Thus the reason why it is so hard to find. I have always been blind to most inspirational things. Only when my mind has been set on fire for adventures and idea-turning plots have I noticed out of the ordinary ideas and objects. And even when I do notice those few, I can tell that I am only seeing a fraction of the imagination and inspiration that has been offered to me.

Inspiration is a funny thing. It is disguised. If you have ever read Harry Potter, you will know what a boggart is. It is a shape-shifting creature that will shift into whatever the viewer’s preferences are, in Harry Potter's case, the viewer’s worst fear. That is how imagination is. It disguises itself,  hardly noticeable things. Every person finds inspiration is different things. However, if you look hard enough...you will discover another exciting world of creativity.

A crackling, laughing fire can mimic the voice of a character in your novel. The twiggy branches on the frost-laden trees can twist into a map of dungeons or a road to an enchanted forest.  The hovering, silky clouds can shape an idea or a word that you can’t seem to express...no matter how hard you try. 

A picture.

A sentence.

A wave splashing across a rocky shore.

Sometimes you just have to peel that brain-fogging shield from your eyes and look at the world with raw, sensitive sight. It might be painful, it might be blinding, or it might be completely delightful.

Isn’t that what risk is for? Search for inspiration. Don’t wait for it to lazily find it’s way to your mind...sometimes you need to push and prod it into action. And when you do, it will form into something wonderful...and awe-inspiring.

Ahoy Mate and a bottle of rice...

I dropped my phone in the toilet.

I have always been clumsy, always... and I was surprised that this hadn’t happened earlier. As soon as I heard the ‘plop!’ and saw my poor little phone sitting ¾ submerged, I snatched it out and stuffed it into a towel. One word thumped through my every move.

RICE!

The word RICE had been engrained in my brain since I was little.

After a hard practice or an injury via figure skating, I would do Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation: RICE.

Rice was also one of my favorite foods. Yum. (Do not attempt with chopsticks.)

My brother, a man who knows absolutely everything about electronics, always stressed that if I get my phone wet, put it in rice.

Rice.

We had none.

After scrambling desperately through my pantry and realizing I would be late for Church, I frantically opened google and searched “Dropped my phone in the toilet! Help!” where I read the following words:

“Place phone in bowl of uncooked rice¾” too late for that...” or use silica gel packets.”

Yeah. Cause I happen to have a pile of silica gel packets in my room. I mean really?

In the end I found rice at a gas station, kept it in it's ricey grave for two days, and the result:

My phone works!

 The only problem: the backlight is completely broken and my top right button clicker thingy doesn’t work. My screen is completely black (unless I get the PERFECT angle in a reflection or a super bright light), and so lately I have been attempting to keep in contact with my friends via Siri. She is failing me.

And so what is the use of this post? Continue...

Yesterday I was pondering why it wasn’t working and how I could fix it, and then I realized that God actually might be trying to teach me something through this. This is what I got:

My phone reminds me of some Christians. My phone can read texts aloud and it can send texts from me talking, but I have no idea what is actually going on. Some Christians talk the talk, they say what you want them to say...what you expect them to say, but they don’t show anything. They are completely blank when it comes to actually showing: a black screen. They aren’t living up to their full potential. They may think they are working to the max, but in reality, they are barely working at all. You always think that ‘light’ is such a small thing. But take it away and you realize how important it really is.

Some Christians aren’t being a light. Just like my phone, the backlight is broken and they aren’t letting the light shine through. Place my phone next to a real, perfectly fine phone, and you won’t think anything is wrong. It will blend right in. But turn them both on so you can see something REAL...my phone falls short and you see which one is the fake.

Eh? Maybe I am overanalyzing, but I thought it was pretty cool.

Anyways, I am in Maryland! My family and I are sailing our boat down to Annapolis. I plan on writing tons and getting lots of ‘laziness’ accomplished. And, of course, catching a mermaid. 

My dad and I showing of our 'Argh!'iest faces.

Discoveries!

What I have discovered this week:


I have discovered that there are some things I will never have control over and some people I will never completely understand. I just have to give it to God.


"Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You." - Psalms 56:3


I love that verse! So simple, and yet so true.

20 things you should probably know about me.

I was thinking (what a novel idea, thinking) a few days ago, and I was incredibly bored. My thoughts spun tales, and then once again, my brain yelled at me to make a list. This time however, instead of a list of things I love, it wanted to make a list of things that people should probably know about me. Here it is!

20 things you should probably know about me:

*I am very stubborn. You would probably have a better time at getting me to stop figure skating than to get me do something I don’t want to do.

*I get carsick very easily

*I am shy until you get to know me.

*I am a dork (and proud of it)! :)

*I do not like hockey players. They steal my ice time and leave big ruts.

*I don’t forget things easily.

*I LOVE SUNSETS!

*I also love rain and snow and the smell of smoke (campfire).

*Oh, and freshly smoothed ice, preferably still wet.

*Ask me about politics or abortion, and I will never stop talking....like, ever.

*Only three people can make me smile real smiles (you know who you are...)

*I am very, very passionate about Russia. I love the culture so much, and I want to do mission work up there in the hopefully-not-to-far future.

*I am a klutz.

*I kill any plant I touch (I killed a cactus, which I didn't even know was possible...poor Alfred)

*I get cold very easily

*I am different! I like playing Frisbee in the rain, I have bruise wars with friends, I find inspiration in the oddest things, and I will balance on absolutely everything (fences, tired, curbs. Anything. Just ask any of my friends and they will vouch for me.)

*I am overly sarcastic, so don’t take anything I say personally. :P

*I am obsessed with Paris.

*Figure skating is NOT ballet on ice.

*I hate the color orange.

Awkawswardness

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille ball) from I Love Lucy.

I have discovered that I am less skilled at using chopsticks than Lucy Ricardo is at singing. If there was a chopstick competition, I wouldn’t just get last...I would get disqualified and thrown in the county jail.

It all started at the "O-Zeki Japanese Restaurant.” It was one of the traditional sushi places where you take off your shoes and sit cross legged on cushions. I accepted the awkward/awesomeness (which I will now call awkawswardness) with a smile. Then I saw my competition. Chopsticks. The foreign objects seemed to smile at me as I sat down, as if knowing the horror they were about to put me through. I glared right back at them and in triumph moved instantly to grab a fork. I happened to be sitting at the one place setting without one. Of course.

I begrudgingly picked them up and they slid clumsily from my hands. I noticed my uncle had them situated perfectly in his own hands, and he clicked them together once or twice to make sure they were placed correctly.

“Hey uncle Mario! How do you use chopsticks?” I looked at him in hope, and he gladly showed me.

“Just pinch the top one and balance the bottom one in between your thumb and pointer finger.” He showed me. I tried. The term ‘easier said than done’ has never been more suitable. 

This was me:

 

I have decided to leave the chopstick usage to the professionals, and embrace my awkawswardness joyfully.

Besides that, Canada is amazing! The fall colors are GORGEOUS and the family time is even better. My family is crazier than I thought! The day included:

*Eating walnuts off of a walnut tree (did you know they come in a paper shell thing that you need to peel off? I didn't!)

*Doing a faceplant onto pavement

*Riding the ogopogo monster replica

Me riding the 'Ogopogo monster'

*Climbing through trees

*'Jecuzzee-ing'

*Getting lost three times

I must admit, I miss my friends and my cat...but this 'vacation' is a wonderful and much needed one. :) Who knows what tomorrow will hold! Aye?