Bring it.

I don’t want to be part of the majority anymore. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I don’t want to be another invisible person trying to survive what life throws at me.

I want to DO something.

I want to BE someone.

I want to accomplish. Conquer. Laugh.

God, I don’t really know what you have planned for me, but I know it’s awesome. You ARE the best adventure writer after all. I am so stoked for everything you have planned for me, and I am so ready to embark on this magical journey. Bring it. Bring it all. Let’s do this.

Together.

Muddy Puddle Future...

When talking to an adult for the first time, there is something that will always come up during the conversation. Always. If it doesn't come up, then something is clearly wrong. What is it?
The question. THE question. The question that I never have a real answer too. The question I dread.

"What are you planning to do in your future?"

 As soon as these words slip through their mouth, I am once again groping through my mind for an answer. Because the truth? I have no idea.

I have no idea what I want to do! Missions trips? Work in hospital as a nurse? Explore crime scenes? Discover dinosaur bones? I don't know. I don't have concrete plans.

"Well you must have some idea."

No. I don't. And there is nothing bad about that. People now days seem to think that if you don't know exactly what you are doing in your future, you are just wasting time. After all, life is only so short right? You should have a clear picture of your life. You should get everything you want. Do whatever you want. Live it up.

I won't do that. I refuse. What I will do is follow God's plan for me.  I have no idea what the next step is, but I trust God to show me. My sister once said "God's the best adventure writer ever!" We had both been working on our novels, and both of us had writers block. We couldn't think of what's next. But see, God does know what's next. We might not, but he does. It's a mystery to us, but to him it is a perfect plan of serving Him and leading others to Him. It's exciting!

And so I have come to the conclusion that my future is a muddy puddle. Right now it's sitting there. I have a past and I sin...mud. You can't see through the muddy puddle to see what is in there, but you know it is there. And as God continues to renew me through Him the water will get clearer and clearer as time goes on...until I am crystal clear shining his glory. And so....let the adventure ahead begin!
 

Next stop: Ecuador!

Joy!

 This picture made me super happy! I just thought I'd share...

I just can't get over the cuteness!

A Christmas full of hugs!

 

The question “what do you want for Christmas?” has been asked many times. It has gone into my ears, settled in my brain, where I tossed it around feverishly and then finally spit out the words I always say.

Nothing.

This is usually met with a curious/frustrated glance and a march off to go question my family members.

I have never been good at coming up with something I want, and even if I had (due to some miraculous brain-workage) I would never say. I hate asking for things...I love giving gifts, I love it, but asking for something? Not so much.

But I have been thinking lately.

What do I want for Christmas? Really, what do I want? A book? A new camera? A movie? At first I will say “yes!” when you suggest these. I always loved touching the cover of a brand-new, unread book filled to the brim with adventure. But then I think about it.

All of that is just stuff. It doesn’t last. It has no real connection. It's just STUFF. It doesn’t accomplish anything truly worthwhile. I may have it, but how long until I get tired of reading that book? How long until my camera breaks or I want the newest model? How long until that movie is as old as one of those black and white silent films?

No. For Christmas I want memories. I want a hug. A laugh. I want a moment. A moment of joy, happiness...peace. I want an instant. Memories have meaning.

Everything has a time limit. Every item you touch. Every person you meet. Me.

Even you. Everything will end. This world, your pet dog, the tree growing outside that has been there for 200 years. Everything has an end.

Except for the God we serve.

Christmas is about celebrating his birth. It isn’t about finding that perfect deal for Christmas presents, or being disappointed when you don’t find that shiny bicycle under the tree. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus! The one who died for us. He died for OUR sins. He didn’t have to...but he did. It is amazing that we actually get the privilege to celebrate his birthday.

So just think about that before you ask for something for Christmas. Is it something that will actually hold meaning? Life is so short.

But meaning is priceless.

I will be perfectly happy with dozens and dozens of hugs.  :)

 

Rain is the sky crying...

Rain is the rawest, saddest, most emotional thing ever. It is beautiful, and yet tragic. As I listen to it drumming on the roof, sounding like thousands of angry fingertips thumping, I wonder what every raindrop feels. Happiness? Despair? It is comforting, but at the same time lonely. Rain is the sky crying. 

It’s funny how much you don’t realize until it rains. It brings so much to light. You don’t realize how much you miss someone. You don’t realize how much things hurt. You don’t realize that the things you think are so important aren’t important at all. Sometimes I can’t tell if it’s the rain or my heart pounding. I can’t tell if it is sadness, despair, or pure joy that the rain falls from. Maybe a mixture of all three.

These are just thoughts. Thoughts that I don’t care where they go. I am just going to send them off into the world...floating on the wind.

"Everyone says to learn to dance in the rain, but it's so much better if you wait until you can dance under a rainbow." - Flyaway

December!

As I wake to a cool, crisp morning, my heart yearns for an adventure. The sun is filtering through the clouds like rays in an ocean, and tiny snowflakes glitter to the surface like a handful of confetti set loose. The air is fresh. Clean. Pure. And the ground is covered in a frosty blanket that won’t melt until March.

It is December.

But what do I do? My day is completely empty. Nothing planned. Wrap Christmas presents? Wait for a friend to call me to hang out? Grab my camera and try to capture the magic hidden in corners? I have no idea.

I don’t even know what the point of this post is, other than to say it is OFFICIALLY December, and that I have no plans for the day. And for some reason, I don’t have an issue with that. It’s an empty day, a day to be free. Another day God has blessed me with, and I know it will be amazing! And so...without further ado....let the adventure begin! Hello December.

I'm NOT perfect.

I'm not perfect. I have my flaws. I've made mistakes in my life and I'm not proud of everything I've done. I try harder than most people think. I went from failing school and being an emotional wreck, to being caught up/getting A's/ and being able to manage my life on a day-to-day basis. I bust my butt daily to make sure that I'm doing the best I can. I may not be happy with everything in my life, but I sure as hell am proud of how far I've come and the person I've grown to be.